In all earnest, I feel I am progressing towards my goals slower than I would have liked. I feel after weeks: I am finally starting to make real progress on my documentary; but I dread all the emotions and encounters that have been blocking me from progressing towards such. Transitioning from being in Tanzania to back to the States has been a lot more difficult than I anticipated. I had always had a more difficult time living here, and now that I am back all the problems that I had encountered previously seem to be coming back to life. I at times struggle to connect with that strengthened sense of self I had in Tanzania, and I find myself asking what is the purpose of it all? It seems I had it all in Tanzania: friends, close community, culture, joy, and now that I am back what is left: the ghost of who I used to be and those factors and people that keep her alive. I do all I can to maintain a close and bright connection with neo- strengthened inner-self, but I cannot say it does not come without its struggles. It reminds me of why I started filmmaking and writing in the first place and motivates me to continue such: to find culture, love, and self in an indifferent environment.