(Airport Reflections): Looking Toward My Time in Shanghai, China

By: Molli Derfuss

Landing in Taipei, Taiwan

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大家好， 

我现在在飞机场坐着。我很紧张，也很兴奋。我跟我的家人说了“再见”，但是，我知道我很快就会真正再见到他们.

[Hello everyone, 

Right now I am sitting in the airport. I am nervous, but also excited. My family and I said “goodbye,” but I know that I will see them again soon.]

I thought it’d be fitting to begin this entry in Mandarin. Quite frankly, just typing those few sentences proved more difficult than I would normally care to admit, but in this moment, it is important to be honest: honest with how I feel, honest with what I see, and, for the purpose of my project, honest with who I am. 

There are a number of things that I am looking forward to. Allow me to share some of them with you!

A tired hello from the airplane

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试新的东西

[Trying New Things]

I anticipate the newness of Shanghai, but I’m not really sure what that means yet. As I sit here and wonder (I am now in the airport in Taipei), I expect the food to taste different, the cars to look different, and the learning style to be profoundly different. Yet the people will look like. me, the traffic will be like that of any busy city, and, as I’ve noticed in Taipei, the laughter will sound the same. Perhaps this is an odd detail to include, but I include it because my name (笑笑) means laughter: it bears the same meaning in the United States, though many don’t know its meaning, and in China, where many more do. Right now, I feel like an undercover agent wearing the skin of an Asian woman, but feeling quite far from being one; however, when I hear her laugh, I think for a second that she and I are not so different after all. 

I told you I would tell you what I intend to try, but I am afraid you won’t like my answer. I think you might expect me to say, Shanghai Disney or authentic Chinese cuisine—the latter of which I will definitely indulge in. My answer is, however, much simpler. In Shanghai, I want to sketch what I see. I want to translate what I see through a practice familiar to me and, as a result, return home and show China through my eyes. I want to laugh (perhaps chuckle) with a stranger, because laughter provides a curious suspension of language that I’d like to honor. (I will speak more on this thread below.) Finally, I’d like to cook something in my tiny dormitory kitchen just so that I can turn my dorm into something like a home for the nine weeks ahead of me. 

提高我的技能

[Improving My Skills]

As far as skills go, the most obvious is Chinese, but the parts of the language that I most desire to improve will be far more insightful (and a more worthwhile read for you). I mentioned earlier that I would return to the thread of laughter. As you can imagine, “laughing with a stranger” will require some degree of humor on the part of the stranger or me. To that, I will further elaborate. I want to make a stranger laugh. I want to improve my humor by practicing it in Chinese. In a way, I think I’ll be honoring my name and the kind caretaker who likely gave it to me, if I do what I set out to do. I believe that as the years between this trip and me increase, the easiest way I’ll remember the joy I experienced here is by recalling times of laughter. 

The undercurrent of my video ethnography is storytelling. So, it is only necessary that I improve on this skill too. The writing that this project necessitates is vital, but it will come later, and my primary medium in China is videography. I will need to learn how to tell a story through a video. I know I am not alone in this particular ‘skill-developing’ pursuit, for it is my eldest brother, Jason, who paved the way for this mode of telling my story. I think it is fitting to share how he began his 2006 documentary on my adoption.

Some people say a picture is worth a thousand words, but how much is a movie worth? (Jason Derfuss)

To that I say: let’s find out. 

约书亚记 1:9

[Joshua 1:9]

我再次吩咐你，要刚强勇敢！不要惊慌害怕，因为你无论走到哪里，你的上帝耶和华必与你同在。约书亚记 1:9（当代译本 / CCB)

It is now the day after I arrived in Shanghai, China. I desperately needed some encouragement, and I knew just where to find it. This verse reads, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” I looked up verses on God blessing the courageous, and this immediately resonated with me. I hope that it blesses you, too, whether you’re in China or elsewhere. 

My Taipei airport meal. Not related to my writing in this entry, but very characteristic of the simple pleasures of my journey.